|Letters From the Inside Out||
Well, for all intents and purposes, I woke up thinking it was still the weekend. Bummer, husband was dressed for work, and checking everything three times for his "chaw".....poor baby, lost it somewhere. I did help, but no findee.
So, now that I realize it is indeed Monday, I also realize that I'm switching like mad, well: I went off Saphris. By yesterday, I had the muscle twinges that "can become permanent" and are indicative of stopping the medication immediately. Fortunately there are no withdrawals known as yet....so I feel "okay" other than I lost a bit of the organization that the medication provided.
Oh well, I'd rather have that than the twitches...one was a half smile which made me look like I was flirting constantly. Of course, it was on the side of the mouth that has the dimple......the eye twitch was bothersome in that I had great difficulty putting my makeup on for Easter. We managed.......
Easter was sweet, except poor Aramis was stabbed by some wild child with a stick and he fell badly during the sack race. He was livid, as this time it was a real person who did it to him, and mom was video taping so he had proof!!!! I didn't think so highly of the wee darling, as I found him trying to stab our service dog with the same stick. Not cool.....I got "shot" by the stick for the ugly face I made at him as he ran away...but I know from the boys that I can make some pretty ugly faces when I'm not happy with certain behaviors. And the parents would have wondered why a 5# little dog bit their child....never did find the parents in the mob. But I was "shot" a few more times by the little tyrant.
Dad saved the day, as Aramis was sobbing and not in a great place by the time we got home. We have a tradition, as they know there is no Easter Bunny, that we have them "hide" in a room while we set out a trail of jelly beans to goodies at the ends. This time the trail divided, and the boys were delighted. They found the play station in no time at all.... (must be a signal that the PS3 emits to attract children, it was well hidden!) ...and after several frustrated hours Dad had all their old progress applied to the new system. Not one cussword, so I give the man loads of credit on that one. I couldn't have done it.......seems simple, but it's far more complicated than giving birth!
Ahhhh, Aramis now has his "zone out machine" which, according to him, makes the voices less bothersome, and by his affect, it's true. I have my motivator back for homework, as they get time on the machine in the morning, while I write, but after that: they have to earn time by completing assignments. I don't expect chores, but good attitude obedience when asked to do something that any normal person would do (like taking your garbage TO the trash can?) they get credit for. Sometimes, it's a little daunting for Aramis, but it works none the less.
The boys went fishing yesterday, caught three Blue Gill, too small to eat, and they don't like the taste of Blue Gill anyway....so back into the murky water of White Rock Lake they went. Just then dad saw a Water Moccasin, and then another, and then another....well, looks like they will find a new fishing spot! I had found one on our walk several week ago.....so I had my suspicions.....but didn't realize there were so many.
The Koi fish that dad and Aramis found on the lawn (after the waters receded from the recent rains, don't know how it got to the center of a lawn, with no lakes around, must have been a hugely flooded area at the time) has now been returned to a lovely little pond area, complete with ferns and a small waterfall. Ahhhh, fish nirvana.....and I have a bathtub that is getting several cleanings of comet cleanser! I'm sure in some Kharmic way, Aramis will benefit from saving such a lovely fish, and we enjoyed having him for the two weeks we gave him to get healthy again.
Aramis had a spell last night....crying because "I will have schizophrenia my entire life".......WAaaailllLLLL. Well, yes, you will. And you will also have brown eyes, and a cute button nose. Want to know something else? I will always love you, and that's worth more than anything else. So, can you tell me why schizophrenia is so bad? Well, no....other than he's terrified of going to sleep. Okay....well, you'll be asleep quickly because of your ineffective medication, and I'll be here. So, any other problems? (Other than changing the medication with the psychiatrist?) Nope....okay kiddo, off to sleepy-ville please.
I'm going to try my hardest to see if we can get him into the psych doc today to change his meds. As it takes sooooo long to work through the phases of a new medication, we need to get him in now. Additionally, the medication he's on, is the same one they gave me, and I'm having side effects that are considered "warnings". Soooo, say a wee prayer that the appointment slot is open somewhere in today's schedule, otherwise it's later in the week.
My goodness.....there's a wee baby sparrow sitting just a few feet from the puppy and I, and he's telling ME to get him more bread. Excuse me? Yeas....now he has his siblings, and they are all looking at me and chirping loudly. Good lawd.....I'm being bossed around by a group of baby sparrows! What will the day be like? They're still staring........
I did manage to complete a few more chapters of Book II......but finally found myself at a point where I really needed to walk away. Glad I enjoy housework so much, as it does provide a break. I also had loads of work to do to prepare for home school this week, as Aramis has deteriorated to the point that he's lost two grade levels. Okay, so back to first grade for him, with all it's print outs, and everything modified to accommodate his challenges. Whew...that was a big job. The other side is that Dante is progressing quicker, so he needed things bumped up.....the grade level between them is growing ever wider. Coffee, and several cigs, and I had it finished within several hours.
Then, to pull out homework that Aramis did pre and post medication with Saphris. That was scary for a parent to look at....pure psychosis.....and yes, the psychiatrist has asked for them, and will definitely be getting them as soon as we get in.
But for now: I have a line of baby sparrows screeching at me.......well, we can't have them waiting all day can we?
Have a warm and peaceful day everyone!
Anna: take care of yourself....you ARE truly special!!!!