(For many survivors of childhood abuse, "Mother's Day" has negative connotations. Hence, I have received a number of emails regarding the struggle of managing th very complex emotions regarding this day. I am not a therapist, so please: if this is a troubling time for you, it also means that it is a critical time to visit your therapist.The subject is far too complex, and requires both the training and skills that I do not posess. A good therapist is highly effectual in finding your way through this period.) 

Whew.....finally made it through "the cold". Husband has it now....isn't that always the way it goes? He gets it long after we do, then says: "I didn't realize how bad you all felt". Yeup......the joints hurting I think was the worst part. But all past now, so yippee! 

Skipped the Dr. Phil drama.....at least that's one thing I've learned so far in life: I have a choice over how much drama I choose to allow into my world. There's enough out there trying to creep in......maybe that's why I end up vacuuming the balcony during a tornado warning? 

Husband's job failed inspection, so we will be in the land of TX for, hmmmmm, don't know. But we 'taint leaving anytime soon. Glad he's not the supervisor, as someone always has to take responsibility when dollars and time are involved......had nothing to do with him, and the super made it clear. So, we can let their drama remain theirs........and enjoy TX a little longer. 

Aramis freaked a little when his ears became blocked from congestion, he forgot what it was like to have his hearing messed with. Made me realize just how far he has come with the schizophrenia. He certainly is so much clearer, and is actually a fascinating young man. I'm glad to finally have the opportunity to "meet" who was buried deep inside. I never realized he had a sense of humor....but he does, and it's spontaneous.....just pops out. He's really quite funny. 

We've been watching the new "Dr. Who", which I was never into before. Since Aramis is less instigated by what he sees now, it's actually fun to enjoy a show with him that doesn't have to be pre-screened for every slight thing. He is still obsessed with "time", and of course, Dr. Who only adds to that, but now he has every intention of his brother inventing the machine and he'll do the computer programming. Okay.....he found a solution. 

This week of having a cold really did throw him for a loop though...."where did the week go?".....and all the questions, that when you really think about it, are quite normal, just not usually analyzed. His perspective is so different from DID, that I find answering him is a wee bit of a challenge. Well.....it went. "Why".....because you were too sick to notice. "So does time keep moving when we don't look? What about when we are busy, time moves faster? Why do grownups say that time moves faster when you are older? How does time know to move?". Hmmmm........I really can't explain it. I just keep repeating that there are 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week, 12 months in a year. I have a sneaky suspicion that the concept of "time" has been addressed for ages.....I know the philosophers analyzed it. Maybe this is a good sign for Aramis....then again: I think it's just his current obsession. 

Time? Well, you ask a DID'er, and they, or at least I, have no clue where the "time" went. It just did, and usually things ran smoothly while I was "away". For that I am grateful, and simply have learned to live with it, and no longer be controlled by the fear of missing days or weeks. 

Mother's Day.....well that's a loaded subject. Fortunately, I have no contact, so part of the solution to a potential problem is solved right out the gates. For myself? I have mixed emotions about the day, and prefer to actually not celebrate it. We celebrate a sort of "Mother's Day" on the boys birthday's.....and I like that arrangement. We always sit as a family and reflect back to their introduction to the family unit. Those are good memories, and ones I prefer to dwell on. They usually want to hear the same stories every year, about how they were born, etc.....and I'm always left with a positive feeling. So, for me: skip "Mother's Day", and try to avoid all the ads that pop up every time I turn around. 

Well, have a good weekend everyone. It's rainy here in TX, but I'm finally seeing Cardinals....my life long wish! They don't seem to be bothered in the least by the rain, and have found our bird feeder......so all in all, life is sweet. 

I have a date to watch the next episode of "Dr. Who" with oldest boy......

Stay positive everyone! 


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    Shelly Dowen-Johnson

    I am currently traveling with my husband across the United States, due to the nature of the work he does. 

    I am the mother of two boys, one who has recently been diagnosed with Early Onset Childhood Schizophrenia (Schizoaffective Disorder). 

    It appears the Dowen family gene sequencing contributes much more than the darling dimples both boys have inherited!  But, as always, with love, tender care and support....we will thrive! 


    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012