So, it's big deal right? Well one boy thinks every bone in his body is hurting, so he can't "do" school, and the other says he's sick, so he can't "do" school either, BUT might be well enough to go swimming later. Ahhhh, there's the clue. 

Really? Do I look like this will work? When has it ever? Sorry dudes, but if you're too sick for homework, then you can climb back into bed. I have a funny feeling I'm going to be tested today on this. Bed is torture for them both, especially if it's a "nap" and not a "lay down for a bit". Darn, Dante learned to tell time, so I can't give time limits anymore. He just lays there playing with his feet in the air until the time finally clicks by. So, we'll see, it'll either be a day of testing, which in that case, I have some crochet to finish....or it can go swimmingly. 

I'm having flashbacks again....something the new therapist and I are working on. It's the second book, I know it is, but it's also a real pain. I can almost feel as if all these people from the past are back in my life sometimes......but on a cognitive level I know they are not. Still, it's strange to be standing there, and I could swear that so-in-so is right next to me, and it's no longer 2012. 

The therapist says to not simply think "what year is it?", but to acknowledge all the emotions connected with that person or event. Connect with the body, and recognize each sensation. It's only through this practice that one can move past flashbacks and into memory. It releases the trauma connected with each event.....and, is very tiring. Makes for better writing, but right now that's not the goal. I just want them to climb back into the cave they came from. That would be nice.....

But, on the other hand, it's been eye opening to me how many people I know who are going through some really rough times. Just looking around my section of apartments, I can see some whose wives have left, taking the children with them, others who have lost jobs and are moving, others who have recently had serious injuries.....the list goes on. Sometimes it's so easy to get caught in the land of DID, that I forget that the world in general has problems too.

Husband and I have our Monday night date planned, so I'm looking forward to this evening. Let's hope the boys manage to survive home school, and all goes well. I'm not beyond shutting down PS3 until we adjust our attitudes regarding homework. It's really not that bad, in fact, is easily done when the spirit is willing. Ahhh, there's the ticker, and my constant chant: "Is it attitude or ability?" 

And that applies to more than just home really applies to life. Am I able to do this thing, or is my attitude towards: (pick one) taking care of myself, facing my fears, addressing my responsibilities, not assuming responsibility for someone else, etc. hindering my ability to succeed? So simple, and yet it's only when the situation (no matter what it is) is broken down into two small components that the entire picture becomes clear. WE can be our own strongest barrier. Attitude versus Ability. That's really the whole kit and kaboodle in a nutshell.

Well, the service dog, who has learned to be quiet, has discovered that large men are moving large objects out of an apartment and need to be watched, growled at and checked regularly. He's the first one going to bed today. Wonder if the boys will be on their way to bed too? 

I suspect growing pains (literally) with the older boy, as he is doing what my side of the family does. Grows wide, then tall, then wide, then tall,......he's hitting the "grow tall" point right now. When I keep it in perspective, that's a lot of growing to do in order to change from a wee child to the Oak Door that their Dad is. My family just does it quick......and I remember, it does make the joints ache. 

Still, he has announced that he wants 7 (yeup, SEVEN) children, and is already trying to figure out how soon he needs to go to work, so that he can provide for all 7 and a wife, and himself. He makes me laugh, as last night he asked candidly: "Do you have the kids first or the wedding?" Hmmmmm, well that depends on your belief structure. Let me explain........

And that was 11pm....he couldn't sleep until he figured it out. Why don't you get your homework done first instead? He still thinks girls are gross, so how he figures he's going to have 7 kids I'm not sure. 

BUT if you're going to manage to work as hard as Dad (which he referenced) then you will have to learn to work through the pain, whatever it is. 

Attitude versus Ability.....there, it strikes again. Yes, sometimes we are unable to do something, but in general, check and see if it's really an attitude problem. 

That's all for today.....a balmy, overcast day here in TX. We find out today or tomorrow if it's Manhattan for us, or goodness only knows where.........

Take care of yourselves everyone......and stay safe.



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    Shelly Dowen-Johnson

    I am currently traveling with my husband across the United States, due to the nature of the work he does. 

    I am the mother of two boys, one who has recently been diagnosed with Early Onset Childhood Schizophrenia (Schizoaffective Disorder). 

    It appears the Dowen family gene sequencing contributes much more than the darling dimples both boys have inherited!  But, as always, with love, tender care and support....we will thrive! 


    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012